Whether they're good or bad,once you know what your real reasons are for wanting her back, you are in a perfect position tobegin working on yourself so that you can prepare forwinning her back.If you cheated, there's more than likelysomething in your relationship that wasoff kilter orout of balance. Before you spend all your energy thinking about what SHE was or wasn't doing, think about what was YOUR part in the out-of-balance relationship? Take the time to figure out what motivated you and get the help you need to address it.Above all, make sure you're FINISHED with cheating.
So you've decided thatyou want to win her back , and for the right reasons,but now what? Besides just repeating in your mind, "i cheated and want her back",you need to work on a plan to recover her love and trust.
1) In dealing with infidelity, let her have her anger.Of course she's going to be furious. That's anatural response to a betrayal like this. Andthe best thing you can do is to allow her to be angry.Let her rage and yell and scream and get it out.
Andyou should be patient while she does this, andyou should be willing to listento a fair share of it.She needs to know that you understand how upset she is.Listening and being present while your girlfriend is angry IS the shortcut! If you try to avoid this or work to "calm her down," you just draw out the process.So let her be angry, and take it like a man.
2) Give her your HONEST apology, and some space after an affair.
This piece iscritical to winning back the woman you love. After you've let her rage run it's course, she will begin to grieve. And this is your chance to tell her sincerely how very sorry you are.Admit that you completely screwed up, but don't give her your justifications or talk about all the complicated reasons you let it happen.Simply apologize with as much sincerity as you possibly can.And walk away.
3) Let her have room to grieve.She needs time to let your apology sink in. You can't stand there and talk her into not being sad and hurt, sospeed things up by getting out of the picture and letting her grief run it's course.
4) To rebuild trust and win her back, tell her you love her.Once you've given her time and space to be sad about the betrayal of trust, you're ready togive her your final apology, along with a profession of love and understanding.
Tell her how much you love her, andthat you completely understand why she left you. Tell her that you have been working on your problems (see above!) and would give anything to make things right between the two of youBUT that you'll leave her alone now, and you wish the very best for her.... And be sincere about it all.
If you really do want her back,she may be able to hear your love and accept your best wishes for her. If she is able to see a future with you,she'll offer you a way to begin the journey again.Remember, she'll most likely want to make some new "rules" for your relationship (most likely having to do with contact with the woman you cheated with), soyou should expect that as a condition ofwinning back her love. And the two of you will be on your way toward couple-hood once again!Read more...